In Due Course

Welcome, it’s time for another posting of In Due Course.  For the past few weeks, I have been writing about the tasks of dying.  So far I have gone over the physical, psychological, and social tasks.  Today, I’ll continue our discussion of tasks by addressing the spiritual ones.  Of the four, the spiritual tasks are the most complicated to describe for a couple of reasons.  First, there is no consistent definition of ‘spiritual.”  Spiritual does not necessarily mean religious.  One can have spiritual concerns separate from religious concerns.  Second, and related to no consistent definition, there are many spiritual cultures such as Roman Catholics, Southern Baptists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Native Americans, atheists, etc.  Even within these there are various subcultures. However, when faced with dying, people within each spiritual subculture can still experience the three common themes of the spiritual tasks: meaningfulness, connectedness, and transcendence.

Meaningfulness

A common quest for those facing their own demise is to identify, recognize, and formulate meaning for their lives, their inevitable death, their suffering, and for being human.  Examples of questions that might arise include: What has been the value of my life?  What does my death say about the value of my life?  Why has there been so much suffering?  What does it mean to be human?  Who (or what) actually dies?  What underlies these question, and other similar ones, is a striving toward wholeness and integration and away from fragmentation.

Connectedness

Illness, and particularly terminal illnesses, can threaten to disrupt and break apart those connections that have made life coherent.  One can become separated from one’s own body, from other persons, and from one’s concept of the transcendent (e.g., God).  In the ongoing search for meaning and integrity, reestablishing those broken connections and maintaining, or even strengthening, existing connections can become important to the dying person.

Transcendence

Finally, people who work on spiritual tasks often search out a transcendent level or source of meaning and connection.  Here, transcendence refers to that which is greater than the ordinary, that which has ultimate value.  In this search, religious people may work to enrich and deepen their connection to a god; realize some religious hope, such as absolution of sin, overcoming metaphysical ignorance, or achieving eternal bliss.  Non-religious people may focus on finding their own place in the vastness of reality, becoming one with nature, and/or continuing to contribute to humanity through one’s legacy.

Conclusion

As with all other aspects of death, dying, and bereavement, the tasks one feels driven to work on as a way to cope with dying is distinctly personal. Either as the person who is dying or as others who must cope with dying, each person must follow his/her own journey through the process.  Trying to force one person’s agenda for the task work, or any other method of coping with dying, onto another can rob that person of his/her unique humanity.  It is also important to realize that it is never possible for a person to finish all task work.  The work may be completed, but it will never be finished.

Next week, I will explore another facet of coping with dying – the relationships of the different tasks to the five phases of living with a life-threatening illness.

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